One time I was watching Star Trek Voyager episode "Nightingale" (s7.e8) and I remember a scene that was in Voyager's mess hall while she was on the planet for repairs. Ensign Kim had just taken an assignment as the captain of an alien ship - an assignment he really wanted because he had envisioned being the captain, himself. The thing that stuck out to me in this scene, and what made it so memorable, was when Neelix asked Kim whether he wanted plomeek soup or eggplant parmesan. When Kim said "either is fine," Neelix gave Kim a very firm lesson in decisiveness as a captain and basically told Kim that the response was unacceptable now that he shouldered such an important responsibility. Well, why is this relevant to anything? What was just a line in a TV show is actually a very important life lesson - and it's actually a very true thing what Neelix said to Kim, even if it was just a TV show.
I have noticed in a social setting a lot of times people look to me to make choices. Perhaps because I'm one of the few who do. There are others, though, who do it far more than me, and said people will follow their lead much sooner than mine. But when those people are gone, I am often looked to.
And this comes my biggest flaw as a leader: My lack of decisiveness. I like to defer to others, myself. I have a habit of it. I am a follower who leads others to follow another leader. I'm the sergeant, but never the captain or the general. It's a very poor choice for a captain to let others take the lead.
It's a hard habit to break, though. Throughout the early stages of my life I've been reprimanded for being "too bossy" - it's made me fear taking the mantle ever again, even though now I realize that back then I had done it for purely selfish reasons. Now I am suffering the consequences of not being "bossy" enough - even if the decisions I make are often for the benefit of others. And even worse, when I am "boss" I often leave very little of the pie for myself - in fact I will often divvy out the rewards at my own exclusion so that everyone benefits except me. But it doesn't feel right taking a bigger slice of the pie just because you are captain. And sometimes it doesn't feel right taking any of the pie at all - even if you did earn it.
Is my guilty conscience the reason why I do not lead a major social group? Why, when the few times I do step up to the plate, I always come short of my own expectations? I took on a major position in one of my MMO guilds once, only to resign because I was unhappy with my own performance. (In essence, I really fired myself)
It's something to ponder - and it's a very important concept that I think should be shared with others - particularly those who are or will be leaders of any team, small group, or even a major group. You cannot forget the most important rule of being larger than life: and that is, to actually be larger than life. Sure you are just a human being, but the people you lead never see you that way, until you screw it up by asking them what they want right after they've already asked you. You're the leader - you're supposed to know what they want. And if you guess incorrectly then they will tell you - that's when you can correct it. Self-confidence is not optional. You must make the choice, you must be the one to make the choice, and you must make it - right now - and with minimal time spent deciding.
What it comes down to is the most important job as a leader is to make choices for other people. It's not about power. It's not even about responsibility. It's about being a smart figurehead.
No comments:
Post a Comment